There’s been a few times in my life when I can’t seem to stop over-thinking. I get trapped in this self-absorbed bubble where I can’t just breathe and relax and enjoy life because I am living too much in my head. In fact, I’ve done this so many times I can barely count. I will be so consumed with an issue with someone or something going on in my personal life that I block out my own enjoyment of everything else. When I am in this state of mind I live so selfishly that I treat others around me with less love and I let simple pleasures just pass me by. This is called living according to my ego. I read this phenomenal book called “Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose,” by Eckhart Tolle, that addressed this exact issue. In the book, the author claims that the wants and desires of our selfish heart leave us constantly wanting more and never being fulfilled. He also claims that our “ego” isn’t our real self. Our ego is defined by the things we possess and the things we associate with. Our belongings, our friends, our homes, our cars, our loved ones, our jobs, etc. But when all of those are taken away, what are we? What do we identify with? What are we characterized by? These questions continue to amaze me. Sometimes I get so caught up in my ego that I forget to just let my soul do its thing and LIVE. A couple days ago, I finally was hit with the realization that I have been in and out of this ego mess. I have been on cloud nine living in the city and visiting new places, meeting new people, and accomplishing more goals than I ever thought possible–yet my heart isn’t always present. My mind, on occasion, has been elsewhere–up until a few days ago when something magical happened. I sat next to a woman on the Subway and when I looked up to see what she was reading, she was holding “Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose.” I approached her and told her I loved the book and it changed my life. She responded with, “Isn’t it wonderful? We need stuff like this in this day and age.” Such a simple answer. And yet that was enough for me to smile, stop over-thinking life, and slip out of my ego.
These past few days have been entirely different. I feel like a 100 lb weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I feel no anger, no resentment, no self pity, no confusion, no doubt, no frustration, and no attachment to my previous thoughts. And all it took was getting out of my head, letting go of my ego, and simply living in the now. Like I said, this isn’t the first time this has happened to me and it won’t be the last. Believe it or not, most human beings choose to live ego-based lives. They think too hard, try to control everything, and never just let themselves relax and let their soul guide them. I waver in and out of this all the time. But when I finally find peace and let go–everything falls into place. The sky becomes brighter, people become warmer, and the smaller pleasures surface like never before.
So whether you believe in the “ego” or the “soul” or not, I hope you find some peace of mind today. I hope you stop worrying about whatever might be troubling you. I hope you stop living in your head and start living in your heart. I hope you identify yourself with love instead of with your outer surroundings. And I hope you enjoy the NOW to the fullest.
Love you all,
Kayley
Kayley Jayne 